Stuck in the Middle

Summer, 2009

The cable show “Myth Busters” proved quicksand does not quickly make you sink. I’m happy to learn that if I should find myself entangled in the gray I’ll have time to escape, but I must work at doing so.

As writers, sometimes our words fly onto the page. Sentences need little editing when the article, blog post or chapter is finished.

But sometimes, without notice or reason, I find myself in writing quicksand. This happened to me early last week. I didn’t know why I was in there or how I’d gotten off-path. I was stuck in a quadmire and it had suffocated my voice and confidence, and my treading only exhausted and sank me deeper.

Last night I drove to my cabin in northern Minnesota. This morning a turkey walked across the lakeside yard. My dog, Mick, chased a white-tailed bunny. The heady fog from 95 percent humidity has lifted and I see the lake now.

I spent a half-hour reading and doing Julia Cameron’s “morning pages” and realized I had found myself again. Here are a couple things I learned in my week of wallow and how I got freed and back to my happy writing place.

1.      “Vox populi”

Remodeling two bathrooms, preparing for my son’s high school graduation party, “house people” giving unsolicited comments about the menu, such as the buns I’d bought (dry), turkey I’d made (“Aren’t you serving barbecue … cheese … more pepper … with the turkey sandwiches?”) and hearing hard feedback on a book project all in the same week and I’d had too much of “vox populi.” I’m an extrovert so being around people energizes me. But last week was an overload of “voice of the people.” “Solitude is a friend to writers” wrote Deb Carriger Richards. Coming to the cabin, away from people, silenced the “vox pop” and helped to unveil “me” again.

2.      Q.V.s. Quod vide, Latin for “which see.” What helps you find clarity? For me, reading some C. S. Lewis, Oswald Chambers, Charles Spurgeon and Julia Cameron’s “Walking in the World” and doing her morning pages are on my “to-do list.” But I had let circumstances distract me and stopped my good habits. I started to read their words again and, though I was still in quicksand, I no longer was at a standstill, treading. I was in process to shore.

Who are your “which sees?” Who writes in a way that moves you? Read them when in your “stuck.” Write words they use on your morning pages or scratch paper during your stuck time. Doing so builds confidence and moves your pen. Here are some I picked: trance, trace, trendle. I’m not a huge fan of alliteration but I guess I was last week. Each seemingly simple word I put on my morning pages was a life buoy toward shore.

3.      Shore-swept by ill winds. Even quicksand has a boundary. I had somehow merged shore and land and when I did I was tossed into a ring of uninvited guests. Perhaps they’ve tried to befriend you too? The Intruder made me doubt myself and question why I try to sell my words. Miss Cellaneous Garbler muddled and caused racing thoughts, none of which I could string together and make use of. The Critic, who, generally-speaking, is important to have around, seemed unusally harsh and coupled with The Judger, their unsolicited advice nearly sank me.

Boundaries serve a purpose. They mark territory. If you’re stopped in your writing, take a look at those to whom you’re listening and ask “Why is what they are saying bothering me so much?” The reason might be that you’re not doing the talking but being persuaded, controlled, or disrespected; or, perhaps there’s some un-honoring of you going on. “Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement and we will make the goal,” wrote Jerome P. Fleishman. Listen to the voices who speak wisdom and they will positively impact in your life  

4.      End the vision and you’ll be stuck in reality. Peter only started to sink while walking on water when he took his eyes off Jesus. I stopped writing my daily writing goals which stopped me from having a reason to write and then I stopped writing. I became distracted by circumstances, people, uninvited guests and neglecting my Q.V.s. When I did go to the keyboard I couldn’t type because I saw only little words like “the, to, in, that, is.”

Being lakeside made me realize something big: Little words matter too. The great temple of Jerusalem began with a plume line.

My nephew is a builder. He’s going to build my neighbor’s gazebo. “The first couple of days when I’m over there you’ll think I’m not doing anything,” Dave said. “But it’s important to dig holes to have solid footings so the gazebo will be strong and stable. Once that’s done, you’ll see the gazebo go up fast.”

The same applies in our writing too. Little words cemented together make solid sentences.

If you’re stuck in writing quicksand right now, I encourage you to take 10 minutes and start writing in a stream of consciousness-like way about what’s going on in other parts of your life. Write words with hard “k” or soft “m” endings just for fun. Go to your Q.V.s and let them uplift and build your confidence again.

You’ll paddle to shore in no time.