Author Joy Dekok to the right

By Julie Saffrin

“My husband Jon and I obeyed God and waited to be intimate until we married. We longed for children born out of our love for each other,” said Joy DeKok, Rochester, Minnesota resident and author of her debut novel Rain Dance. “But God said, ‘No.'”

Though Rain Dance is a work of fiction, the story takes its premise on Joy's 27-year journey with infertility. Her novel begins with her main character's encounter in a doctor's office with Stacie, a woman about to abort her unborn child.

Joy's heart for post-abortive women began in 1971, two years before the procedure became legal in the U.S. Joy was in eighth grade. “My 14-year-old friend had an illegal abortion. Nothing was the same for her afterwards. I believe she pulled away from her friends because we didn't know how to understand her loss. I still think about her.”

Joy believes the grieving process between infertile and post-abortive women is similar. “For the infertile woman, grief is about a child never conceived. For the post-abortive woman, it is about a child conceived and never born. We both miss the children we will never hold,” she said.

As divine irony would have it, it is because of her childless womb, that Joy came to write Rain Dance . “I was cleaning house one day when God gave me the idea for the book. I remember saying to God, ‘I do not want to do this. Ask someone else,' but the story grew in my heart.” Months later, Joy began the outline with the words tumbling onto the page.

The writing did not come without the re-opening of old wounds for Joy. “Hurtful comments have not changed in 20 years. People still say if infertile couples would get rid of the sin in their lives they'd conceive. If this were true, no one would conceive because we're all sinners.”

Joy found comfort in John 9. “Jesus said the reason for the man's blindness was not because of his sin but to bring honor and glory to God,” she said. “God used that to heal the brand left on my heart by unkind words.”

The reaction to her novel has been remarkable. It has comforted young women just beginning their infertility journey as well as post-abortive women. “Even though [post abortive women] are forgiven by Christ, they are afraid for other Christians to know,” Joy said. “They are afraid of the judgment. I understand that. As an infertile woman, I have felt such judgment too.” Women who have buried their secret for years, have written Joy or visited with her after a speaking engagement. “I'm a Stacie too,” is often how they begin the freeing and healing dialogue of confession.

With one in four women, churched and unchurched, having had abortions, Joy longs for the day where women unveil their secrets and feel safe from judgment in doing so. “I believe with all my heart if women who have not had abortions would make it safe for women who are post-abortive to talk about their experience, the abortion issue would radically change. The gospels are so powerful because they are eyewitness accounts. It's one thing for me to tell about the lies and horrors of post-abortive women. It's another thing completely when it comes from them.”

It is Joy's hope that women will eventually feel free to share their stories. “It is essential that we love post-abortive women. They are our friends. By allowing them to share their stories, aside from the healing that occurs, perhaps it will prevent another woman from taking the same action,” Joy said.

Which is precisely what Joy and her friend Sharon, a post-abortive woman, hope to accomplish when they share their stories at the Minnesota Citizens Concerned for Life Rochester rally at Calvary Evangelical Free Church on January 18 th at 2:30 p.m. The event is free.

“While God didn't let a child be conceived in my womb,” she said reflectively, “He conceived this love in my heart for post-abortive women.”

Rain Dance is available at all Northwestern Bookstores, online at major bookstores, or at Joy's website, www.joydekok.com .