Wait For Me, Rediscovering The Joy of Purity In Romance

By Julie Saffrin

With her Julia Roberts' smile, curly locks and wide-set brown eyes, it doesn't take one long to see Rebecca St. James' stunning beauty.

Thirteen years ago, this brunette Aussie took the contemporary Christian music world by storm. Now, with both Grammy and Dove Awards to her name and a return from her World Tour concerts, St. James has topped the CBA Young Adult bestseller list with her new book about abstinence, Wait For Me, Rediscovering The Joy of Purity In Romance, (Nelson).

So how is it that this international star, at 25, and a virgin, has chosen to tackle the subject of sex?

The book, where even the models used for the cover shot are chaste, is an outgrowth of the abstinence message she gives at concerts, along with the love song she penned to her yet-unknown husband, Wait For Me, Darling on her Transform album. “I've never had such a huge response to a song. I realized I needed to write a book about how to stand for God and purity,” St. James says. “ I am waiting for you, wait for as I wait for you,” St. James sings to her future beloved, pledging to remain a virgin until she is his bride.

Much like she connects with concertgoers, St. James' voice comes through on the page. She does not shy away from difficult issues, addressing a fifteen year old female's addiction to pornography and another's shame in succumbing to a boyfriend's pressure to have sex. There is not an ounce of condemnation in her words; rather, she points the reader to freedom in Christ.

In a society where romance, if it's done at all, is hastily slipped in between dinner and the sheets, St. James reminds us that sex outside of marriage has an element of permanence to it. Citing the example of two pieces of paper glued together she writes, “Both pieces tear when you pull them apart. It is impossible to wind up with two papers that are as flawless as when you started. That is exactly the way God designed sex. Once the relationship becomes a unit, God intends for it to stay together.”

She puts a fresh spin on abstinence. “We want to be God-honoring and we hurt a member of the family of God by having sex with that person outside of marriage.” St. James believes there is a side benefit to practicing purity. “By cherishing members of the opposite sex by not having sex with them, we cherish our future spouse now.”

Quoting statistics that scare—one in five teens become pregnant, twenty-seven hundred teens get pregnant every day, with over three in ten choosing to abort the baby, and that one in four teens gets an STD before high school graduation—St. James wants her generation to save their virginity for their spouses. “Don't buy the lie of ‘safe sex.' The only true safe sex is that within the context of marriage.”

But she is clear about one thing. A person must work to remain pure and St. James gets specific about how to accomplish this feat. “Stay away from touching any part of the body that is covered by a two-piece bathing suit. Don't let anything belonging to your body enter anything belonging to someone else's body.” She does not hold back on her definition of sex. “Oral sex is still sex. It's just got ‘oral' in front of it,” and her questions challenge. “Will participating in this activity lead me to do other things that definitely go beyond my desire for sexual purity?”

For those raised on a feeding tube of sensational television, St. James urges her readers to hit the pause button. “TV is pretty much always sex outside of marriage. It sets unrealistic expectations and lowers our morals. It's important to not put images in our heads that will be damaging to us.” St James is careful what she wears at her concerts, even encouraging her brother, who is one of her background singers, to follow her lead. “If he wears too tight of stuff he's not doing the girls a good service.” She hears feedback from mothers who say she is an example of modesty. “Girls need to ask themselves, ‘Is this what I want guys to think about me or do I want them to treasure and respect me?”

She believes in having a mentor in her life, (her grandmother fills this role) and that staying connected to God also keeps her on track. “I take moments of each day, whether it's back stage or on the bus on my bunk where I ask God to speak to me through His Word and tune my heart into him.”

But what if the “Darling” St. James croons to is not to be? Is she willing to remain single? “Absolutely,” she says. “It's not just about me and my needs being met. To marry out of any other reason other than this is the person that God is calling you to marry is not only damaging to yourself but to the person you're marrying and to your future kids. I only want to marry knowing that this is God's man for me.”